When I talk to my friends and family, I’m constantly making jokes. These are not razor sharp wit-filled jokes, no. My jokes tend toward sheer utter silliness. My thing is to use idioms to get a laugh. It’s a sickness, really. For example, today I grabbed stuffed mushrooms from the refrigerator that had been sitting, festering for too long, and I said to M. C. Nugget, “Uh-oh! Honey! There’s a ‘fungus among us’.”
I know. Kill you now.
I would tell you I’m sorry for that, but I’m PRITTTY DARN worried about myself right now. Think about it. Think of the pressure I must feel to be able to constantly apply idioms in a literal way. Eventually I’m going to run out of real-life situations. It’s not like I’m planning to go into a broken down, leaky submarine anytime soon, where I’ll be able to say, “That’s as funny as a screen door on a submarine.” Let’s hope not.
But I thought up some fun idioms and found images on the internet to help you imagine what it could look like in REAL life:
A Chip on His Shoulder
This I could make happen.
The Pot Calling the Kettle Black
I have used this figuratively all the time, but I just don’t see a way it’s going to happen in real life.
A Drop in the Bucket
Seriously? One drop? That’s one I can DEFINITELY make happen. Oh the fun never stops.
Useless as Tits on a Bull
This one may be a bit difficult… but it was funny.
The Elephant in the Room
Wouldn’t it be awesome to be some place…. maybe the Natural History Museum, in the room with Woolly Mammoths… walk up to the exhibit with your friends and say “Let’s talk about the elephant in the room, shall we?” Well, it’d be great for me, but this is why I should probably be committed. Because I would REALLY do that.
There were so many of these great sayings, I couldn’t do them all justice. Your mission is to tell me how you could apply any of these idioms (or those below) to real life situations! Feel free to provide links to images that tell your story in the comments.
If the idioms here in this article don’t do it for you there is a link at the bottom, where I got them. Have fun. I look forward to your input! Fun times!
Blessing in Disguise
Come Hell or High Water
A Dime a Dozen
Graceful as a pig on ice
Don’t Throw me Under the Bus
The Cat’s Meow
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Don’t be a Doubting Thomas
That’s a Piece of Cake – Don’t I WISH I could say this literally. Like, every day.
No Pot to Piss In
12 Kinds of Stupid
Day late and a dollar short
Square peg in a round hole
The Cat’s Out of the Bag
And now, for pure comic relief:
What’s the best way to attack a circus? Go for the juggler! Yuck Yuck!
See you next time, for something really ridonk-ulous.
Love you people!!!! Mmmphhhuuuhhhhh!!!
Editor in (Mis) Chief
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